Your rules? LOL NO! That would only be true if the husband is a pathetic wimp. If their marriage is strong, and loving, you are just the dildo with a heartbeat, that's it. You are there for nothing more than spicing up their marriage, and the husband is getting something he wants, like maybe a threesome with his wife and one of her hot friends.
My girl and I have never done anything like this, and have never desired to, but one of her best friends did. It was made clear to the Black guy that this was just for some fun, and that the wife was in control since it's her body. The husband also had equal veto power, as it was his wife, and his marriage. The Black guy didn't understand that, and started to try to take control. Found out real quick that as a mistake, as he was no longer part of the fun. All contact was cut off. I know this to be true, because the wife confided everything to my girl. After the same thing happened with a second Black guy, they chose to never do it again.
Their experience reinforced our belief that it wasn't something we were interested in doing.
By the way, my girl also has 3 friends whose marriages ended because the husband kept pushing for something like this to happen, but their wives wanted no part of the BBC Hotwife lifestyle. It also happened to one of her friends with her long term boyfriend. She put up with it for a while, but said she no longer felt safe. Was afraid he was going to bring home a Black guy. He had even suggested he would do that some time, and wanted to know what she would do.
I would warn guys to respect your wife/girlfriend's wishes on this. If she repeatedly says no, respect that. If you don't, you are likely to lose her.